In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

A couple of months ago, I got a series of texts from my sister about (as she said) "the worst movie ever". I of course thought she was exaggerating. I was wrong.

Have you ever seen a movie so bad, that it was like a work of art in itself? That's what we have here. Starring Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, John Rhys-Davies, Claire Forlani, Lee Lee Sobieski, and Ron Perlman, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is your standard fantasy fare. It should be good just on the acting alone, but the production values are actually pretty good also. I can only assume that the director, one Uwe Boll, is the worst director ever.

Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe it was a fluke and his other work will redeem him. But I'm not sure I'll be able to bring myself to watch anything of his again. Or maybe I will, because like I said before, the horribility of this movie was like an art form in itself.

For those of you still interested, the plot follows a king (Burt Reynolds) being betrayed by his nephew (and next in line to the throne), played by Matthew Lillard, and a mad wizard (Ray Liotta). The king's wizard's daughter (Lee Lee Sobieski) has conveniently been conducting an affair with the aforementioned mad wizard. (I for one find it hard to believe Lee Lee Sobieski would look twice at Ray Liotta, but that's just me.)

Meanwhile, a lowly peasant called Farmer (Jason Statham) has his wife (Claire Forlani) abducted by the mad wizard's Orc-like army, after they kill his young son. Farmer, his friend Norick (Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman), and his wife's brother (played by Will Sanderson) try to get her back and come across the forest people, led by Elora (played by Kristanna Loken - who by the way was the lead in another terrible, terrible movie known either as Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King or Ring of the Nibelungs).

Sound convoluted? Well, it is. But it's way too easy to figure out where things are going. There's no suspense or WTF? moments (speaking of, check back for my Burn After Reading review). It feels like it's all been done.

So if you're into masochism or feel the need to do penance, check it out. Or if you just want to laugh at something so bad, it's beyond definition, check it out. Otherwise, skip it.